NOLLYWOOD was grieving this week when the veteran actor Baba Suwe was announced dead by one of his sons. Apparently, Mr Babatunde Omidina had a handful of children, a couple of known sons, one unknown son. It took the death of the beloved Baba Suwe to unearth a son, Akanni Sherif Omidina, who never had the chance to have him in his life as his father.
The last time Baba Suwe was in the news was when he was interrogated by the NDLEA with regards to an alleged drug trafficking case. The comic thespian was practically adjudged to be a crooked character by many. Perhaps, this ugly episode had a great impact on the Nollywood star so that he could not be casted for a role in movies for a while.
As told by one of his sons, Adebowale, the actor felt broken and doubted he could ever play a role in a movie after the negative publicity he had during his NDLEA ordeal. He would then fall ill and silently endure his sickness till the time of his death.
However, this is not about the life of Baba Suwe. This is about a certain Doctor Akanni Sherif Omidina who recently revealed that he was oblivious of the fact that Babatunde Omidina was his biological father. In a heart-wrenching rendition, the grown son of the late actor explained that his mother refused to reveal who his father was even as he sought to find the man.
Dr. Omidina went on to say that he knew the actor and loved him as an ardent fan. Unfortunately, the absent father was right there on his TV screen —alive and not far away. He would eventually find out a little too late and reconcile with the Omidina family. The problem with this whole case is that it is not an isolated case. Disappointingly, many people only see it as newsworthy material.
We need to talk about our absentee-father epidemic. There are millions of Nigerians who do not have a father in their lives and there are several thousands who think they can never have a father. Now, there’s a difference between people who have lost their fathers to death and people who have absentee fathers.
Absentee fathers are alive and well but, for some reason, they refuse to be responsible for their own children. Some of these men are financially incapable of catering to a child’s needs, others are denied custody of the child by their counterparts. Regardless of the reasons, men need to step up and take responsibility. A percentage of young people have lost direction in life because they had no father to serve as an anchor for them.
Nigeria is currently dealing with a massive drug abuse problem. No less than 6 in 10 young men are abusing a variety of prescription drugs or hard drugs. When we look closely at their lives, we see some of the seeds of their confusion planted by their family —namely, an irresponsible parent. Absentee fathers cannot establish disciplinary measures on their children because they are absent, obviously.
There is a myriad of challenges children with absentee fathers face. Faulty educational background, zero etiquette, self esteem issues, psychological pathologies, and the list goes on. Children without fathers always have questions, questions their mothers or guardians shy away from answering. This then gives birth to doubt, confusion, self-abuse, self-denial, depression, and self-harm in the child.
At the moment, there is a growing philosophy that supports the absence of one parent or the other. Without any effort to sound politically correct, this is a defective school of thought. Single parenthood and absentee fatherhood have adverse effects on the children who grow under such circumstances.
Someone randomly opined that Dr. Omidina’s case is quite the exception, “he didn’t turn out messed up like many would have”. But is this true? Is the grown son not still regretting the lost time he should have had with Baba Suwe —as his father— that he would never regain? Will he not have some form of emotional support that he could not get because his father was not in his life?
Fathers must know that this is gross irresponsibility. Whatever it takes, parents must be there for their children. Fathers don’t need to have the money to buy all what a child craves, the most important thing is to be present and live an instructive life.
.png;w=120;h=120;mode=crop)